Proof That Treize Khushrenada Has No Balls
by Wide Awake Bored
Summary: I have always known that Treize had no balls, but now have finally been able to prove it. Crude humour and insane amounts of Treize Bashing.


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Proof That Treize Khushrenada Has No Balls

By: Wide Awake Bored

Hello there dear readers! Today we are here to discuss a recent obsession of mine, which until just recently was unprovable; the obsession being that Treize Khushrenada of Mobile Suit Gundam Wing is, in fact, without balls. 

Credits for some of the material used in this fic' comes from a dear friend of mine who, sadly, must remain nameless for if I were to name her would come down on me in a fiery fury and cut out my spleen with a spoon. So, to you my dear friend (you know who you are) I'd send roses but you've already got enough of those. But now, without further ado, on to why Treize has no balls!

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Proof # 1: Have you ever noticed that in almost every episode of Gundam Wing Lady Une always hears the orders Mr. Treize never seems to mention, everything he never says? Most of you, especially you people in the back there, are screaming that she's a devoted mistress and she is, but that's not why she hears it, and the real reason helps prove my theory. 

You see, I believe that Treize's lack of balls makes it so that whenever he's yelling his voice becomes SO high-pitched that we can't hear a word! However, Une being the dog that she is (and a female one at that **winkwink**) has no problem hearing these, due to her canine hearing. This in turn allows her to perform all those unspoken orders of his that I've grown to love so much.

However, this proof also raises the question of how we can hear him at all during the show, which I am about to dispel, as you bastards in the back are once again waving your hands wildly in the air. Wouldn't his lack of balls result in him being high-pitched all the time? I disagree. 

It is my belief that only in times of great agitation does his lack of testicles become truly apparent to him, result in his suddenly silent exclamations that only canines still hear. 

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Proof # 2: Now, from the back AGAIN I hear you people yelling "What about Treize's daughter huh?!" And normally I would have agreed with you, it does seem quite odd. In fact it was once the biggest obstacle in my path towards proving this theory, but I have overcame it once again, because I'm a genius. 

Now because I'm saying Treize has no balls most people would assume that he has no penis either, which is untrue (as my friend would vehemently agree with!). This, theoretically, would allow him to engage in procreation with Leia, his current whore of that week. However, without balls he would also be without sperm, therefore making it impossible for Treize to have knocked her up. It is my belief that Leia, in her fury of being left by Treize, marched to the nearest sperm bank and inserted it directly into the womb to spite him (and I'm sure the good doctors helped her with that part). This therefore allows for the existence of Treize's daughter, and also allows me to smirk at those annoying people in the back who have suddenly stopped waving their hands excitedly.

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Proof # 3: Through my network of agents and spies I have found one crucial element: Treize never exposes his ballsack to any of his girlfriends, even during family fun time. This would also explain why our dear Mr. Treize is so fond of bubble baths, they leave nothing exposed he does not want showing while still appearing "sexy" to his millions of fans. 

I now hold these three truths to be self-evident, and can only conclude that Mr. Treize is indeed without balls. Denying or arguing against me on this would be pointless, but I welcome it if you so wish. I'm bored most of the time anyways. 

In time I hope you too will come to realize the naked truth (pardon the pun) of this situation. Une knows it, my nameless friend knows it (though she wouldn't admit it EVER), and every dog whose ever heard his silent screams knows it, thought they would be loathe to tell you that themselves, as they don't enjoy humans very much.

As my final closing remark, I would like to make it quite clear that I really have nothing against dear old Mr. Treize. In fact, I would venture as far as to admit that he's one of the coolest characters in the show. It's his fan club I simply can't stand, as well as those annoying people in the back, who are now being escorted away as we speak. He died ok! There's no way in hell he could have survived that! Even if he DIDN'T die in the explosion, he didn't have a fracking space suit on! Can we see rabid decompression? **Breathes** Happy flaming everyone^_^.

-Wide Awake Bored


End file.
